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Be honest with yourself

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We all like to believe that there is one fabulous event or one big deal in life that is going to dramatically change our lives. Part of the reason is that in today's world corporate advertisers try to convince us that the good life is just around the corner. Thus, it's easy to be seduced into thinking that something incredible will happen to us, so that from that point on, we can experience perpetual happiness along with problem-free lives.

Because the existence of the one big deal is such a common belief in our society, you may have to regularly remind yourself about this important aspect of reality: No knight in shining armor will come to your rescue.

Put another way, there is no one big deal in life that will save your hide.

Here are some variations of the one-big-deal syndrome: If I could only win a five-million-dollar lottery, then I would be happy; if I could only get a new relationship with someone exciting, then I wouldn't be so bored; and if I could get an exciting, high-paying job, then I could start living.

People afflicted with the one-big-deal syndrome are looking for an easy way to happiness, where none exists.

Waiting for something wonderful to happen is a means of avoiding the effort required to make life work today.

Unfortunately, most people won't accept that there is no such thing as a big deal that will allow them to live in Shangri-la.

On the contrary, people believe there is some wonderful event that can take care of all their problems forever!

This is a variation of our belief in Santa Claus when we were children.

We felt life was going to be great once Santa brought us all our goodies.

Even if we got everything we wanted, our happiness was short-lived.

What's more, our lives became progressively more complicated regardless of how many times Santa fulfilled our wants.

If you are like most adults, you still have thoughts such as, "When I obtain this thing, I will be on Easy Street," or "When I am free of this event, then, I will be the happiest person on Earth."

You are obviously fooling yourself that it will be different now that you are an adult.

Wasn't it Benjamin Franklin who remarked, "Who has deceived thee so often as thyself?"

So, how much are you fooling yourself?

One-big-deal thoughts are hogwash, and deep down you should know this.

There is nothing you can ever do or attain that will make your life problem-free.

Think about something that you actually attained in your adult life that previously was the wonderful event that was supposed to make you happy.

This could be getting married, buying your dream house, or acquiring a high paying job.

Be honest with yourself.

Whatever wonderful events you have experienced, invariably any happiness and satisfaction that you have attained has vanished quite quickly.

Wishing for something incredible to happen is one thing; planning one's life on the basis that it will actually happen is even more serious.

Many of us are waiting for that one miracle to happen before we really start living.

The miracle never seems to come, and if it does, it won't change things dramatically for the better.

Life will pretty well end up the way it always has been.

It is important that you don't put your life on hold until something incredible materializes.

You must move ahead toward your long-term goals based on the possibility that you may not ever experience that one big deal.

Otherwise, you are shortchanging yourself by limiting your happiness and satisfaction.

Breaking free of the need for a miracle allows you to exercise your freedom of mind, and to pursue worthwhile and satisfying goals for yourself today.

Clearly, what will save your hide is the experience of true freedom – from fear and suffering and from an illusionary state of a lack and insufficiency in this world.

When you learn how not to want the one big deal, how not to need the one big deal, how not to grasp for the one big deal, and how not to cling to the one big deal, you will have that one big deal in life that saves your hide.

 

Paradoxically, you will have attained that one big deal in life because you don't need it any more.

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