JORGE RODRIGUES SIMAO

ADVOCACI NASCUNT, UR JUDICES SIUNT

Everyone Including you and me is selfish

Selfish1

As is to be expected, a large majority of individuals on this planet see themselves as a lot less selfish than the average individual. Upon dose scrutiny, however, this doesn't make much sense. Provided it was possible to measure selfishness, about half of the people would be more selfish than the average person, and about half of the people would be less selfish. The point is, it is to be impossible for a large majority to be less selfish than the average person. There is no need to measure selfishness, however. Truth be known, everyone in this world – including you and me - is selfish.

Some people may have some difficulty with the idea that they are just as selfish as everyone else on this planet.

We like to think there are selfless and selfish people on the two extremes.

A lot of us would like others to think of us as being selfless instead of selfish.

What's more, most of us - out of our own selfishness, I might add - would also like others to be less selfish.

Have you ever noticed that certain people will call you selfish, not for pursuing your own good, but for neglecting something that they want from you?

There is a major disconnect here.

The question is: Whenever they are calling you selfish in an attempt to get something from you, what is motivating them?

Obviously, their motivation is none other than their own selfishness.

Oscar Wilde articulated this point much more eloquently than lever could with his classic statement: "Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."

Contrary to popular wisdom, whenever we do things for others, we are motivated by our selfishness.

Some unknown wise person once defined altruism as "the art of doing unselfish things for selfish reasons."

Put another way, we all are generous in a self-serving way.

For instance, I donate money to charities and the food bank out of selfishness and not selflessness.

I make these donations because I want the world to work better.

What's more, I feel good about giving to others.

I am driven by my selfishness to have the world work better in the long term, at the expense of having less money for myself.

There is nothing selfless about my generosity.

We can turn to the dictionary definitions of "selfish" and "selfless" to put this issue in proper perspective.

"Selfless" is commonly defined as "Having, exhibiting, or motivated by no concern for oneself."

Clearly, based on this definition, no one with a sane mind is selfless.

Having no concern for oneself is a sign of severe mental illness - or rigor mortis.

 lf we were selfless, we wouldn't snap up that great deal on the apartment or car or an item of clothing.

We would say, "There are undoubtedly millions of people who need this more than I do.

Since I am so caring and unselfish, I better leave it for one of them."

In the same vein, dictionaries commonly define "selfish" as "Concerned chiefly or only with oneself."

Thus, everyone of sane mind on this planet must be selfish.

The core of the matter is that, on some level or another, we are all concerned chiefly with ourselves.

When we do things for others, we are ultimately doing those things for ourselves.

Our motivation for performing good deeds for others can be to avoid guilt, to feel good about ourselves, to have others like us more, to make the world work better, or to get to Heaven.

Now don’t freak out.

Your selfishness is neither bad nor good.

Accept it for what it is.

Ensure that your selfishness is sensible and not irrational, however.

Operating with the attitude "This is my world. This is all about me, myself, and I," will probably manifest itself as irrational selfishness when most people end up avoiding you.

In contrast, out of sensible selfishness, you can be kind, gentle, charitable, and considerate.

Being a Good Samaritan will have a positive effect on your well-being.

You will feel good about yourself, people of good character will want to be your friends, and the world will work better in the end.

Best of all, you will likely wind up in Heaven

Share

Pesquisar

Azulejos de Coimbra

painesiv.jpg